This Might As Well Happen
by absolutetrash77
Summary: A woman named Maggie finds herself in Gravity Falls. Which should be impossible, considering it's a TV show. Her ticket home lies somewhere in Ford's notes. Follow along as she helps Stan with the portal, bonds with the kids, and tries to keep Bill from learning the secrets in her head. Eventual Stan Pines/ OFC.
1. Chapter 1

Notes: So... here's this.

 **Chapter One**

It was an ordinary day in Gravity Falls, Oregon. Normal, even. From his perch on the roof, Dipper has spotted only two strange things in the course of the afternoon. Two. That's nothing! Yesterday, they'd spent an entire afternoon falling in the bottomless pit and that was practically mundane for Gravity Falls. _Gravity_ , Dipper thinks with a chuckle. _Nice_. With a final stroke of his pen, he completes the sketch of the Bottomless Pit and contemplates it with a critical eye. It's not bad, but nowhere near what The Author could do. Dipper sighs and flips back through the journal, running his fingers over pages he's memorized like the back of his hand. Not for the first time, Dipper wonders who The Author was… is? Could they still be alive? The journal seems so old. Surely, if The Author is still alive, they must be ancient! Like, nearly sixty or something.

Dipper flips back to the Bottomless Pit page and starts scribbling down calculations. Obviously, it wasn't really bottomless. That'd make no sense. And how could it be that they fell for so long only to pop back out the top? Is it really a wormhole like he first thought?

 _ **CRACK**_!

Dipper jumps and fumbles the journal, barely managing to keep ahold of it. His pen is a lost cause, though, and he watches it roll off the edge of the roof before hopping up and looking around for the cause of the loud noise. He can't spot anything around the shack, but that was loud. Whatever it was had to be nearby.

Dipper scrabbles over cedar shingles and throws open the hatch. He hurries down the ladder and into the gift shop. Mabel is already there, face pressed to the window.

"Dipper! DIPPER!"

"I'm right here, Mabel," he says with a head shake.

"Did you hear that?! What do you think it was?" She turns to him and he sees that she has a paper unicorn horn… wait, did she glue it to her forehead? Dipper stares at it for a second before shrugging. Oh well. They can deal with that later. Right now…

"C'mon, let's go check it out!" Dipper urges, jogging for the door. Mabel follows close behind him. Stan is asleep on the porch couch, snoring loudly. The can of Pitt Cola he was holding has slipped a little and is dribbling soda down the front of his shirt.

"Grunkle Stan, we're gonna go out into the woods alone again!" Mabel calls as they rush down the steps. Stan just grumbles and shifts a little before snoring even louder.

The two of them race off into the woods in the direction they think the sound came from. Dipper comes up with a search pattern for them and they spend the next half-hour combing the underbrush for anything suspicious. Mabel pokes him in the ear with her horn every now and then, just to make sure he's not slacking.

 _What could've made that loud of a noise?_ , Dipper wonders. It didn't sound like an explosion, and surely they would've seen the destruction by now if it had been. Smoke or blown-up trees or… Dipper's thoughts trail off when he sees something poking out from behind a log _. A shoe_?

"Hey Mabel…?" Dipper's voice comes out weak, but Mabel is close enough to hear it anyway.

"What's up, bro-bro?" is her chipper reply. He lifts a shaky hand and points. Her eyes follow and she gasps. They creep closer. It's definitely a shoe - a black flip-flop - and it's lying abandoned beside the log. They keep going, hearts pounding now, both unsure and entirely certain of what they'll find. When the bare foot comes into view, Dipper's eyes widen and Mabel lets out a little shriek, covering her face with both hands.

"Dipper… Dipper, is that a dead body?" she whispers. "I'm too young and innocent to witness this!"

Dipper grabs a stick from the forest floor and inches forward. "Oh man," he mutters frantically as he gets close enough to poke the foot with his stick. He holds his breath. When nothing happens, he does it again. And again.

Mabel is peering out from between her fingers now. "It _is_ a dead body! Oh no, no, no…" She pulls the bottom of her sweater up and over her head. The unicorn horn pokes through the chunky knit, tassel at the end fluttering in the slight breeze.

Dipper takes a deep breath, squares his shoulders, and moves closer to the body. He should see if it's someone they know. Then they should hurry back to the shack and call the police.

Having a plan helps a bit. When Dipper fully rounds the fallen tree, he sees that the body is that of a woman. She has brown, curly hair with just the slightest hint of grey at the temples. Most of it hangs in front of her face, obscuring her features. She's wearing shorts, a black T-shirt with some sort of graphic on it, and only one shoe.

Dipper is barely breathing, but he doesn't smell anything bad. He remembers reading that dead bodies start to smell really bad after a while, so this must be recent. Which means that whatever killed her might still be around. Dipper shivers and glances behind himself, but all he sees are trees.

"Dipper, are you there? What's happening?" Mabel's voice is muffled by the sweater, but he can tell she's scared. He needs to do this quickly and get them home.

"Y-yeah." His voice cracks and he clears his throat. "I'm here, Mabel. I'm just gonna see if it's someone we know, then we can go home and call 9-1-1."

"Okay," she whimpers.

Dipper shuffles closer, moving the stick towards the woman's face. He's planning to shift the hair aside with it, but the moment the stick makes contact, the _dead body_ groans. Dipper lets out a high-pitched scream, which in-turn makes Mabel scream. She rips the sweater from her face and her eyes dart from tree to tree, looking for the danger. Dipper runs to her side, already stammering. "Z-zo-zombie!" Mabel lets out another shriek and they duck behind the nearest tree, peeking around it at the log where the body is. Dipper holds the stick like a sword now, ready to swing it at the zombie if it comes over to them.

They hear another groan and the creature sits up, holding a hand to its head. Mabel pulls something out of her pocket and taps him on the arm. He chances a glance and sees that it's a tube of glitter.

"When it comes close enough, you whack it across the shins with your stick and I'll get it with the ol' glitter to the face trick!" Mabel whispers, shaking the glitter.

Dipper frowns. "What's that gonna do?"

Mabel gives him a look. "You've never had this stuff in your eyes," she challenges. "I have. And let me tell you, it's like a bajillion tiny knives stabbing at your eyeballs. I cried glitter for, like, a week."

Dipper nods, vaguely remembering that. "Okay. Wait for my signal." Mabel salutes him and they both peer around the tree again. The zombie is looking around now, expression slack. Dipper can tell there's nothing left behind those eyes. The creature moves onto its hands and knees and crawls toward its other shoe. Then, using the log, it pushes itself up and clumsily slips it on.

 _I suppose zombies need shoes, too_ , Dipper thinks, tightening his grip on the stick. Any moment now, it's going to turn and amble this way. Sure enough, it does just that, shuffling and using the trees to keep itself upright. It's getting closer… _Any moment…_ Dipper gets ready to spring. He hears Mabel pop the top off the glitter tube. _Aaaand…_ "NOW!" Dipper shouts and leaps out from behind the tree. He swings the stick and cracks it hard across the zombie's shins. The creature shouts and stumbles. That's when Mabel throws the entire tube of glitter in its face. The undead woman screams and wipes frantically at herself.

"Ow! Oh ow! What the hell?! What is this?!" There are tears streaming down the zombie's cheeks and its eyes are bloodshot. "I can't see!"

Dipper is about to bolt, but Mabel stops him. She's tugging on his arm and frowning at the zombie.

"Dip, are you sure that's a zombie?" she asks, a calculating look on her face as she examines the creature.

"Of course it is, Mabel!" he exclaims. "It was dead and now it's walking around. Let's go!" He tries to tug her away but she's rooted in place.

Meanwhile, the zombie has heard them talking and is looking in their direction. "Who's there? What do you want? What the hell did you throw at me?!" It sounds angry and Dipper starts backing away, but Mabel takes a step closer.

"Mabel!" Dipper hisses, reaching for her.

"Hi!" she calls. "Mabel here! Are you a zombie?"

A complicated series of expressions pass over the woman's face. Finally, she stutters, "W-what? No!" Then she whimpers and rubs at her eyes.

"Don't rub, it only makes things worse," Mabel tells her. "Trust me on that one." She winks and makes a finger gun.

"What is this stuff?" the woman asks, blinking rapidly as tears continue to spill down her cheeks.

Mabel spreads her arms out, palms up, looking toward the heavens. "Angel Dust," she sighs dramatically.

The woman's jaw falls slack. "What?! You threw Angel Dust in my eyes?! _Ohhh_ no…" She starts wiping frantically at her eyes again, muttering something about children and drugs.

"Well, that's the name of the glitter, anyway," Mabel replies, grinning. "And stop rubbing at it! I told you, that only makes things worse!" Mabel wags her finger at the woman.

She stops rubbing and squints at Mabel. "You threw glitter at me." It's not even a question; she just sounds resigned at this point.

Dipper moves up next to his sister, cocking his head to examine this stranger. "You weren't dead, were you?"

Her brows scrunch together. "Um… I don't think so?" She squints harder. "You guys are kids, right? You sound like kids."

"Yup!" Mabel replies, popping the 'p.' At the same time, Dipper says, "We're not kids. We're twelve."

The woman gives a weak smile, then points at Mabel with a confused head tilt. "Is there something on your forehead?"

Mabel grins and poses. "It's a unicorn horn! I was in the middle of making it when we heard the loud noise. It was like, _ca-CRACK_! And it scared me so much I dropped my bottle of glue! It went _everywhere_! Then Dipper and I came out here to investigate and we found you and thought you were dead, but you got up and walked so then we thought you were a zombie. But you're not, so yay!"

The woman is just staring at Mabel with a bemused smile, eyes still red and watery. Her entire face is sparkly and there are bruises starting to form on her shins. Dipper winces at that and rubs the back of his neck. _Oops_.

"I'm sorry," the woman says in a dazed voice, "what did you say your names were again?"

Mabel bounces on the balls of her feet, fingers clenched excitedly in the cuffs of her sleeves. "I'm Mabel and this is my twin, Dipper!" She seems to realize something then and gasps, smushing her own cheeks with sweater-covered hands. "I never asked what your name is! Who are you, strange forest lady?"

The woman just blinks in return, jaw slack once more.

After a long moment, Mabel steps closer to wave in her face. "Hellooo? Forest lady?"

"Maggie," the woman finally replies in a hoarse whisper.

Mabel grins and takes Maggie's hand. "This must be fate! We both have names that start with m. That means you're supposed to be here! C'mon, let's get you to the Shack and wash those eyes out!" Mabel starts dragging Maggie in the direction of the Shack and she trails behind willingly, Dipper bringing up the rear.


	2. Chapter 2

Notes: Thank you to Miss Mystery for taking the time to comment! This isn't my first fanfic by any means (I have more on another account), but I appreciate the warm welcome.

* * *

They walk on. Mabel talks the whole way, not needing any input from Maggie. Which is good, considering the woman hasn't said a word since telling them her name. His sister may be supremely unconcerned by this, but Dipper watches Maggie with sharp eyes. To him, it seems like the woman has retreated into herself. Which he gets, for sure. Sometimes he gets super caught up in his thoughts and doesn't talk for a long time. But there's a quality to Maggie's silence that makes him nervous. Deciding to do something about that, he moves up to walk beside her.

"Sorry about hitting you with a stick," he starts awkwardly, feeling his face heat up.

Maggie startles and turns her bleary eyes on him. "Oh, that's alright. You guys were just scared." She gives a vague sort of smile.

Dipper scoffs. "I was _not_ scared!"

Maggie quirks an eyebrow at him. "You're telling me you didn't screech like a banshee earlier?"

He splutters and blushes harder. "You just surprised me, that's all," he mutters, crossing his arms and looking down at his feet.

Maggie just hums, then trips over a root and has to focus on walking.

"Don't worry, fellow M!" Mabel says over her shoulder. "We're almost there!"

"Where are you taking me?" Maggie asks softly.

"The Mystery Shack!" Mabel replies dramatically, wiggling her fingers through the air for effect. "Grunkle Stan owns it. We're staying with him for the summer. Oh!" she cries excitedly. "I can't wait for you to meet Waddles! He's always saying how he wants to meet new people and then you show up!" She pumps her fist into the air. "Fate!"

Maggie gives a slightly hysterical chuckle and says in a shaky voice, "Sure! Might as well be!"

"That's the spirit!"

Dipper shakes his head at his sister's antics, a fond smile twitching up the corners of his mouth.

"Dipper!" a rough voice calls through the trees. "Mabel! Kids!"

"Here, Grunkle Stan!" Dipper and Mabel call back together.

They hear someone crashing through the underbrush just ahead and then Stan comes into view, still wearing nothing but his boxers and wife-beater, a bat slung over his shoulder.

"You kids okay? I heard screaming." He halts in place when he notices the woman Mabel is leading. "Whoa…"

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel greets him cheerfully. "Look who we found! This is Maggie with an M. She was passed out on the ground and we thought she was dead. Isn't that awesome?!"

"Sure, kid," Stan replies, still staring at Maggie. Dipper supposes it's because of the vast amounts of glitter on her face and in her hair.

"Hi," Maggie says blandly.

Stan raises an eyebrow. "Hey." He turns to Mabel. "Was she already sparkly when you found her?"

"I kinda threw glitter in her face, so now I'm bringing her to the shack to help wash some off," Mabel explains, then whirls around and points at Maggie. "Only some, though! Glitter is a good look for you."

"Thanks," Maggie deadpans.

Stan snorts with amusement, then frowns. "Wait, wait. You're not gonna bring a stranger you found in the woods into the house." He pauses to glance at Maggie. "No offence."

"That's exactly what I'm gonna do!" Mabel retorts before Maggie can reply.

"I don't think so," Stan says, crossing his arms. "We drive her somewhere else to get cleaned up. Or better yet, point 'er in the direction of town. It's not that far of a walk."

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel gasps. "She woke up in the _woods_! She needs our help!"

"Nope!" Stan refuses, slashing his hand through the air. "We don't bring strange people into the house!"

"Technically you bring strange people into the house all the time," Dipper points out helpfully.

"We don't bring strange people into the house without charging them for it," Stan amends, jabbing his finger at Mabel to emphasize his point.

Maggie swipes a hand down her face and holds it out. "Do you accept glitter as payment?"

"He definitely does!" Mabel shouts, grabbing Stan's hand and wiping it across Maggie's palm.

Stan snatches it back with an affronted look. "Ugh!" He wipes his now-shimmery hand down the front of his tank. Then, realizing what he's done, tries to brush the glitter off of that. Mabel takes advantage of his distraction and hurries off with Maggie in tow.

When Stan and Dipper catch up, Stan is still grumbling and brushing at his shirt.

"I'll just clean myself up a bit and then I'll be out of your hair," Maggie tries to reassure Stan.

He examines her contemplatively, then shrugs. "Fine, that works." He gives Maggie a stern look. "But I've got my eye on you!"

Maggie nods and shakes her head at the same time. Somehow.

Mabel leads her into the Shack, through the gift shop, and to the bathroom. She turns on the water and starts hunting around in the closet for a clean hand towel. Meanwhile, Maggie bends over the sink and starts splashing her open eyes with water. She sighs with relief and quickly washes away as much of the glitter as she can from her face.

Mabel returns with the towel, sees Maggie's mostly-clean visage, and pouts. "Awww!"

Those sad eyes make Maggie feel the need to justify herself. "I just didn't want any more of it to get in my eyes."

Mabel looks thoughtful, then nods. "There's still a bunch in your hair, so I _guess_ it's okay." She grins. "You look like a fairy!"

Maggie can't help but smile back a little. "You found me in the woods. Maybe I am one."

Mabel giggles and flaps her hand. "Don't be silly, Maggie. Fairies are tiny." She says it with such authority, Maggie wonders if Mabel has actually seen a fairy.

 _She probably has_.

Right. Maggie clears her throat and gestures toward the towel. "Are you gonna help me?"

"Yeah!" Mabel hurriedly wets the towel and starts wiping carefully around Maggie's eyes. It's silent for a bit, then Mabel says quietly, "I'm sorry for throwing glitter at you."

Maggie opens her eyes and sees Mabel's forlorn expression. "It's okay. If I _had_ been a zombie, that would've been a pretty sweet trick." Mabel positively beams at that."I think that's as good as it's gonna get, don't you?" Maggie asks.

Mabel nods, then pokes the end of Maggie's nose with a "Boop!" Maggie smiles and they exit the bathroom. "Maggie, I have questions," Mabel says in a very serious tone.

"Oh?"

"First, what's your favorite animal? Second, how did you end up in the woods?"

Maggie pauses mid-stride. "You sure you've got the order right?"

"Absolutely."

"Um, cats I guess?" Maggie's expression turns pinched. "And I have no idea how I got here."

Mabel lights up. "Oooh! A mystery!"

"I guess I'm in the right place, then, huh?" Maggie jokes half-heartedly and Mabel laughs. Maggie smiles a little, but it fades quickly and she sighs. "Guess I should figure out how to get home." Maggie rummages around in her pockets, coming away with just her cellphone. She unlocks it and dials her friend. Nothing… It doesn't even ring. Maggie pulls the phone away from her face and frowns. Ah! There's the problem: no service. "Wow, you guys are out in the middle of nowhere, aren't you?"

"Pretty much!" Mabel replies. "No signal?"

Maggie shakes her head.

"Stan has one of those _really_ old phones in the kitchen. You can probably use that."

She leads Maggie through another door and points to rotary phone on the counter. There's half of a taxidermied rabbit next to it. Maggie blinks at it, then picks up the receiver and dials the same number as before. It rings this time and Maggie lets out a small sigh of relief.

"Carver residence, this is Ella speaking!"

 _Who_? Maggie frowns. "Um, hi. This is Maggie. May I speak to Dennis?"

There's a pause on the other end, then. "I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number. There's no Dennis here."

"Oh, uh… sorry."

"That's all right. You have a good day." There's a click as the woman on the other end disconnects the call. Frowning, Maggie tries a different number, one she knows by heart. There's no way she'll misdial this one. It rings and she waits.

Click. "Hello?"

"Sylvia! Oh thank God! Look, something weird has happened and I need you to come pick me up!"

"I think you've got the wrong number, hun. Ain't no Sylvia here. Sorry."

"W-wait!"

 _Click_.

Maggie slowly sets the handset back in the cradle, heart thundering. A cold chill creeps up her spine and her fingers start to go numb. _No_. _This isn't possible_.

Maggie picks the phone up again and redials Sylvia's number. _Sylvia_. Her _sister_. This is most definitely her number. Someone's just playing a prank, that's all. The call rings through and the same person answers.

"Please, just put Sylvia on," Maggie begs. "It's an emergency!"

There's a sigh on the other end. "Look, hun, you've got the wrong number! Ain't no Sylvia livin' here. If it's an emergency, call 9-1-1."

"Please…" Maggie begs softly, tears welling up in her still-red eyes.

"Call the cops," the person says and hangs up.

Maggie sets down the receiver just as softly as before, then lets her forehead fall against the cabinets and tries to breathe. Her skin is _too tight_. There's not enough room for her.

"Are you okay?" Mabel asks.

"Mabel, where am I right now, exactly?" Maggie asks urgently.

Mabel stands at attention and barks out, "The kitchen, Mystery Shack, Gravity Falls, Oregon, United States of America, Planet Earth, Solar - "

"That's good, Mabel. Thank you," Maggie interrupts. "A-and your last name is Pines, right?"

"Yes it is!" Mabel replies, then blinks and frowns. "Wait, how did you know that?"

Maggie doesn't answer, just asks another question. "And a bunch of weird stuff happens in this town, doesn't it? Dipper found a journal that talks all about it. It has a six-fingered handprint on the cover and the number three."

"H-how do you know that?" Mabel's voice is small.

"Oh God…" Maggie slides down the front of the counter to sit on the floor. "Oh no…" Maggie breathes hard, but the oxygen doesn't seem to be making it into her bloodstream. There's something wrong with her lungs. They aren't working right! Oh god, she's going to suffocate! Where did all the air go?!

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel's voice shouts from the end of a long tunnel.

The clatter of hurried footsteps, then someone is kneeling in front of her. She gets impressions: stripes, stained white cotton, stubble on a strong jaw, glasses perched on a large nose. The lips are moving, but she can't quite make out the words. She focuses and they finally reach her oxygen-starved brain.

"Whoa, hey! Breathe."

She shakes her head. She shakes all over.

"All right, I'm gonna need ya to breathe with me here."

How? Her lungs are broken. "I can't."

"Yes you can. Here." He grabs her hand and places it on his chest. She can feel it rise and fall with each breath. "Breathe with me now, c'mon."

Maggie doesn't see how this is going to work, but he seems like he really wants her to try, so she does.

"In and out, just like that," he encourages.

 _Right. In and out. In and out. In… and out…_

Stan gives a lopsided grin. "There ya go."

Reason seeps slowly back into Maggie's mind and the realization that she's just had a panic attack in a stranger's kitchen almost sends her back into it.

 _Not really a stranger, though._

"Shit," she mutters. _In and out! In and out!_

"Ya good?" Stan asks.

Maggie looks at him for a moment, studying his features, then drops her gaze and nods. "Yeah… as I can be, anyway." She runs a hand through her curls until it gets stuck, then tugs a little to ground herself. _Okay. Yes. This is probably happening._

Stan offers a hand up and she takes it, leaning against the counter when her legs prove a bit wobbly. It's then that she notices Mabel standing off to the side, eyes wide and worried. Dipper peeks around the door frame wearing a similar expression.

"Oh my gosh, that was really scary! Are you okay?" Mabel asks.

"Yeah," Maggie sighs.

Stan speaks up again, then. "Mabel said somethin' about you callin' people, but it wasn't working. I could…" he hesitates, rubbing the back of his head. "I could give you a ride into town. Gotta pick up some stuff anyway."

Maggie's dark brows furrow and she wraps her arms around herself. "I… I'm not sure that'll help. I don't think I have any place to go." When she looks up again, Stan is watching her with an unreadable expression.

"Does this have somethin' to do with you being in the middle of the woods?" he asks.

"I think so," Maggie replies. "Though I have no idea how I got there." Maggie hesitates. "I live in Washington, up near Puget Sound."

"That's… a good ways away." Stan crosses his arms with a thoughtful expression. "And you got no idea how you ended up down here?"

Maggie shrugs, feeling lost.

Stan groans and runs a hand over his face, knocking his glasses askew. He straightens them and waves a hand toward the next room. "Go on, make yourself comfortable 'til we get this figured out."

"Thank you," Maggie says with sincerity, then follows Dipper into the living room.

"I'll pour you a nice, ice-cold glass of Mabel Juice!" Mabel calls from the kitchen.

"You don't have to drink it if you don't want to," Dipper tells her quietly. "The plastic dinosaurs put some people off."

"Psh!" Maggie scoffs. "I could use a plastic dinosaur in my life right now."

Dipper smiles over his shoulder at her, then gestures toward the armchair. Feeling like a nuisance, Maggie perches on the edge of it, ready to spring up at a moment's notice. Dipper pushes some empty cans of Pitt Cola off of the dino skull and sets himself on top of it. He turns his inquisitive stare to Maggie and she suddenly feels a stab of sympathy for her lab rats.

"So, what do you think happened?" Dipper gets straight to the point, pulling a pencil and Journal No. 3 out of his vest. "Do you think that loud noise we heard had something to do with your appearance? What do you remember from before you lost consciousness?" Dipper has opened the journal to a blank page and has his pencil poised above it.

Maggie blinks at the rapid-fire questions. "Uh…" she replies intelligently. "I…" She swallows roughly. "I have no clue what happened. The last thing I remember is…" Maggie thinks hard. What is the last thing she remembers? She had cereal for breakfast. She was late to work again and Graham gave her a look. But after that… "I remember going to work, but that's about it."

Dipper nods, scribbling something down. "Where do you work?"

Before she can answer, Mabel appears with a glass of something vibrantly pink. _Ah._ There's a small stegosaur floating upside down near the top. _Mabel Juice._

"Thank you," Maggie says and takes a sip, barely containing a grimace. It's really sweet. Well, the electrolytes might be a good idea right now. Maggie makes herself take another sip.

Mabel sits cross legged on the floor in front of the TV and Maggie turns back to answer Dipper. "I work in a lab."

Dipper perks up at that, scooting closer. "What kind of lab?" he asks eagerly.

"Biology," Maggie replies. "Cancer research, specifically."

"Neat!" Dipper exclaims. "I'm more of a physics man, myself," he puffs his chest out, "but that's still cool."

Mabel crosses her eyes and blows a raspberry. "Nerds!"

"Oh, great. Another one," Stan grumbles, leaning against the door jamb. Maggie makes to stand up, but he waves a dismissive hand at her and she relaxes back into the chair. "Sheesh, I'm not _that_ old."

Maggie blushes and stammers, "That - that wasn't what I meant by... It's your -"

Stan cackles and exchanges a look with Mabel. "Nerds," they say together. Dipper rolls his eyes. Maggie is too busy thinking about how weird this is to react.

Mabel bolts up suddenly. "Ahhh!" she yells and runs from the room.

Maggie frowns. "Should we be worried?"

"Nah," Stan replies. "That's just Mabel for ya." He pulls a chair from the table against the wall and straddles it. He's still not wearing pants. _Really, Stan?_ Maggie averts her eyes. "So, ya got any money?" he asks.

"No... just my phone." Maggie holds up her cell. "Not that it'll do me any good."

"You could sell it," he suggests.

Mabel comes running back into the room, holding something pink and rotund. She jams it into Maggie's face. When her eyes focus, Maggie sees a snout. It snorts at her.

"Maggie, meet Waddles! Waddles, this is Maggie! We found her in the woods." Mabel sets Waddles down on Maggie's lap and Maggie drapes an arm around the pig to make sure he doesn't fall.

"Um, nice to meet you Waddles," Maggie says, smiling down at the animal. Waddles gives her a small oink of acknowledgement and gets comfy.

"Isn't he the best?" Mabel says with a happy sigh.

"He's adorable," Maggie assures her.

Mabel turns to Stan. "Is Maggie gonna stay with us?"

Stan gets an uncomfortable look and rubs the back of his neck. "Mabel… look. The thing is…" He glances over at Maggie. "No offence, but we don't know you from Eve. For all I know, this could be an elaborate ruse to steal my fortune!" Maggie accidentally snorts loudly at that and Stan looks offended. "Hey now - "

" _Pleeeeaase_ , Grunkle Stan!" Mabel pleads. "I'll make Dipper do the dishes every night - "

"Hey!"

"- and I won't let Waddles chew on your slippers anymore -"

"Wait, what?"

"Please, please, pretty please?!" Mabel clasps her hands below her chin and gives Stan her biggest, most pitiful puppy eyes.

Stan sighs and scratches at his chest, looking away from his grand-niece. "Jeeze, kid. Why d'ya want this so bad?"

Mabel huffs. "C'mon, Grunkle Stan! It's not everyday you find a pretty lady passed out in a bush! I have so many questions I need her to answer!"

Maggie has to give it to him; Stan holds out longer against Mabel than she would've been able to. Finally, he groans and stands up. "Fine…" He turns to Maggie. "You can stay the night here. Tomorrow, I'll take ya into town." He raises an eyebrow at Mabel. "Happy now, missy?"

"Yes! _Thankyouthankyouthankyou_!" Mabel leaps up and hugs Stan tightly around the waist. He pats her awkwardly on the shoulder. Mabel throws a surreptitious wink at Maggie, which is... a little disconcerting.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next few hours are spent being grilled by the twins. Dipper wants to know more about her job and asks for her opinion on his theories as to how she got here. Mabel wants to know how Maggie knew about Dipper's journal. After that comes out, Dipper and Mabel are of one mind. Maggie, panicking and sweaty, stammers out something about mail on the counter, glimpses of the journal earlier, and Oregon just being weird over all. On this side of her panic attack, she realizes saying what she did to Mabel earlier maybe wasn't the best idea. If this is all really happening (and Maggie isn't actually dying on her bathroom floor because she slipped and hit her head) then she needs to be careful. Based on the twins' skeptical expressions, though, they're not buying her excuses.

Luckily, Stan pokes his head around the corner and announces that dinner is ready. Dinner turns out to be a frozen pizza. The box says, 'It's not take-out, it's Tiggiorno!" _Huh_. Maggie takes a few overdone slices and sits down at the table with the Pines family. Stan and Mabel are cracking jokes at Dipper's expense; Dipper is sulking.

Maggie takes a bite of her pizza and suddenly it doesn't matter one iota that it's burnt. She's _famished_! She finishes off all three slices and goes back for more. Part of her feels bad for that. They have already helped her out so much; she shouldn't eat all their food, too. The guilt isn't enough to stop her, though.

After she polishes off seconds, Maggie smacks her lips, parched. "Where are your cups?" she asks politely.

"Cupboard above the sink," Stan replies, not looking up from the magazine he's reading.

"Thanks." Maggie gets up and goes over to the sink. She rinses her plate off, then opens the cupboard. There are a few cups, all mismatched, and a fish bowl overflowing with googly eyes. She's not going to ask. Maggie fills her cup and drains it in three gulps. She refills it and returns to the table.

"Ducktective is on tonight," Mabel tells her. "Candy and Grenda - those are my friends - are coming over to watch it. I told them all about you and they're very excited to meet you!"

Maggie chokes a little on her water. "Um… I'm excited to meet them, too." She gives Mabel an awkward thumbs up. Mabel grins and gives her a double thumbs up in return.

"You've seen Ducktective before, right?" Mabel asks.

"Nope."

She gasps. " _What_?! How is that even _possible_?!" She hops out of her chair and starts rummaging through the cupboards. "Ugh! We don't have time for you to catch up! It's a good thing I keep a written summary of every episode! Now where are those Cheese Boodles? Ah! There you are! Thought you could hide from Mabel, eh?" Maggie watches, bemused, as the girl crawls fully into one of the bottom cabinets.

"Hey, uh… Maggie?" Dipper asks hesitantly and Maggie turns her attention to him. "What kind of weird stuff have you seen in Oregon?"

"Here we go," Stan mumbles and turns the page.

"Huh?" Maggie replies intelligently.

"You said earlier that Oregon is just weird, but have you seen anything strange or supernatural?" Dipper leans over the table, eyeing her critically.

"Have you ever been to Portland?" Maggie deflects. "I feel like that's explanation enough." Stan snorts into his can of cola and Maggie bites back a grin.

 _God this is weird._

Dipper huffs and crosses his arms, flopping back into his chair. He continues to watch Maggie with suspicion until there's a knock at the door.

"That's them!" Mabel cries, emerging from the cabinet with cobwebs in her hair and a huge bag of Cheese Boodles in her arms. Her unicorn horn is a bit crumpled at the end now. She darts out of the room, presumably to answer the door. Stan pushes out of his chair with a groan and shuffles into the living room. Maggie and Dipper follow. Stan plops down in the chair and Dipper climbs onto the arm of it. Maggie hovers awkwardly in the doorway. When Stan looks over and raises an eyebrow at her, she decides the floor is good and she should sit down now before things get more awkward. Maggie lowers herself down to the right of the chair, feeling very out of place.

"You can grab a -" Stan starts.

"I'm fine, thanks!"

Mabel comes into the room then, her friends in tow. "Guys, this is the lady I was telling you about. Maggie, this is Candy," the smaller girl gives a little wave, "and Grenda."

"Hi!" Grenda booms. Her voice is just as deep as Maggie remembers from… well... She gives them both a wave.

Grenda and Candy sit down on the other side of the chair and start munching on snacks. Mabel calls a 'be right back!' and Maggie hears her sprinting up the stairs. A minute later, she's back with a rhinestone-covered box and a stack of papers. She sits next to Maggie and gives her a rundown of every episode in the few minutes before the new one airs. It's pretty impressive, actually. Partway through that, someone else enters the living room.

"Hey dudes!" Soos calls, walking over to the table and pulling out a chair. It's not until after he's seated that he notices Maggie. "And new person!"

"This is Maggie," Mabel tells him. "We found her body in the woods."

"That's awesome!" Soos declares. "I'm Soos. Nice to meetcha, dude!"

"Same," Maggie replies, wondering if Mabel is going to introduce her to everyone as the lady they found passed out in the forest. Who is she kidding? Of course that's what's going to happen.

She's also wondering if she's actually awake. She pinches herself discreetly. _Ow!_ Okay, probably awake.

Then the show is on and Mabel leans over to whisper, "Your hair is so pretty! Can we braid it?"

Maggie glances over at Candy and Grenda to see them gazing hopefully back at her. Their fingers are covered in orange cheese powder.

"Sure," Maggie replies. Mabel gives a quiet squee of excitement and the three girls swarm around Maggie, tugging at her curls and oohing and ahhing when they bounce. Then they get to work. 'Braid it' turns out to mean 'braid a bunch of different sized strands and put butterfly clips in the rest.'

Maggie doesn't so much _watch_ the show as sit there and silently panic. _What is happening, what is happening, what is happening…_ When it comes to an end, Mabel steps back and squints at Maggie, making a frame out of her fingers. Then she adds one more clip and declares it perfect. Before Maggie can stop her, she whips a camera out of somewhere and snaps a picture. The photo prints out and Mabel gives it a few good shakes before holding it up for Maggie to see.

"See how pretty you look?"

Picture-Maggie looks like a deer in the headlights. One that's already been hit by a car. Then thoroughly bedazzled. "Gorgeous," Maggie agrees. Candy and Grenda nod vigorously.

"All right, say goodnight to your friends and get ready for bed," Stan says to Mabel, heaving himself out of the chair. "You, too," he says to Dipper, then focuses on Maggie. He looks like he's trying not to laugh. "C'mon, I'll show ya where you're sleeping."

"Goodbye, Forest Lady!" Candy calls, a sentiment echoed by the others. Maggie gives a vague reply, then follows Stan out of the room and down a set of stairs. He walks up to a big bookshelf in the room below and pushes it aside, revealing a door.

 _Wait…_

He opens the door and cold, stale air washes over them. The room on the other side is dark, but Maggie can make out a couch and some side tables. Moonlight streams through the stained glass window, making strange shapes out of the shadows. Stan reaches in and flips a switch on the wall. A dingy ceiling light flickers on, washing the room in yellow. It bounces off of a prism sitting on one of the tables. Maggie takes an involuntary step back.

Stan clears his throat. "Yeah, uh… sorry about the mess. Haven't used this room in a long time. It's the only one with a couch, though, so…" He shrugs.

"No, no, it's fine," Maggie assures, even though she has the distinct feeling she's not going to get much sleep in this room. She tears her eyes away from the little pyramid to look at Stan. "Um, actually… I was hoping maybe you'd let me use your shower." She picks up a braid and sniffs it. "My hair smells like Cheese Boodles."

Stan chuckles. "They sure did a number on ya, didn't they? C'mon, shower's this way." He waves for her to follow and heads back up the stairs, then up another set of stairs. When they reach the bathroom, Stan leaves her with a quick explanation of where things are and goes back downstairs.

Maggie shuts the door behind her and grabs a towel out of the cupboard. After a few tries, she gets the shower going. While she waits for it to heat up, she carefully removes all of the clips and bands from her hair. The braids immediately start unraveling; her hair never did like staying in them.

A short while later, she's clean and redressed. She heads downstairs. The TV is on in the living room; Stan must be in there. Maggie hesitates, then takes a steadying breath and steps into the room.

"Hey, Stan?"

Stan glances up from his show for a second to look at her, then turns back to it. "Didja need something else?"

Maggie rocks on her heels nervously. "I, uh… I just wanted to say thank you for letting me stay. And for talking me through my… my panic attack earlier."

Stan is looking at her now, a surprised expression flitting across his face before it's stifled. He shrugs and looks away. "It's no big deal."

"It is to me," Maggie argues. "So thank you."

Stan clears his throat and mumbles, "Yer welcome." Maggie turns to leave, but Stan says, "I, uh, left a blanket on the couch for ya."

Maggie smiles. "Thank you. Again. Goodnight, Stan."

"G'night," he replies and goes back to watching TV.

The room she's staying in is still cold, but the blanket Stan left for her is warm and she wraps it tightly around herself. When she sits down on the couch, a cloud of dust rises around her and she sneezes. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and turns the screen on.

82%

Maggie wonders how long that'll last. If… if she can't find a way home right away, maybe she can try to get her hands on a charger. She doesn't have the newest phone; she should be able to find something that works. _What year is it, anyway?_ Maggie's chest gets kind of tight and she decides she doesn't really want to think about any of that right now. Instead, she opens the jazz playlist stored on her phone and lets Billie Holiday soothe her soul. She stretches out on the couch and tries to fall asleep. After about an hour of tossing and turning, she finally passes out.

* * *

After watching a couple reruns of Cash Wheel, Stan pulls himself out of his chair and stretches. _Time to get to work._ He exits the living room and pauses, tilting his head. He could've sworn he heard… There! Faint strains of music are coming from downstairs. Curious, Stan tiptoes down the stairs and pauses outside the door. He leans in to listen.

" _I said I'd move the mountains… and I'll move the mountains, if he wants them out of the way…"  
_  
Stan frowns. He swears he's heard this song before, but it doesn't sound quite right.

" _Crazy he calls me… sure I'm crazy. Crazy in love, am I…_ "

It almost sounds like a song his gran used to play, by Bobbie something… Stan shakes himself out of it and rolls his eyes. It's not like it matters. He's not even sure why he came all the way down here to listen. He walks back up the stairs and into the gift shop. He punches in the code for the vending machine and it swings open with a hiss.


	4. Chapter 4

Notes: Many thanks to everyone who has commented/followed/favorited this story! I noticed there aren't exactly a plethora of Stan fics (hence why I'm writing this). Ford tends to get most of the love. No shade; I love Ford, too, but Stan holds a special place in my heart. Also, because my main character is someone from 'our world,' it leaves a lot of room for self-indulgence. So, if you have an idea you'd like to see written out, feel free to let me know. I'll see what I can do. I have most of this story planned out and a good chunk already written, but I'm open to suggestions.

Anyway, enjoy!

 **Chapter 4**

Maggie wakes with the sun. Which just sucks. She is, by no means, a morning person. And yet, here she is. Wide awake at the crack of dawn. _Wonderful_.

Maggie doesn't remember where she is at first, then it all comes rushing back and she almost starts to cry. She just barely manages to stifle it.

She stands and opens the door. The house is completely silent. Everyone else is probably still asleep. Maybe even Mabel, who strikes her as the epitome of a Morning Person. She should probably just stay in here until she hears them moving around. She closes the door again and starts examining her surroundings. She picks up her phone, checks the battery - 60% now - and tucks it into her pocket.

She eyes the cardboard boxes stacked in the corner. Too curious (nosy) for her own good, Maggie lifts the lid of one and peeks in. It's completely filled with pyramid-shaped knick knacks. She hastily replaces the lid and steps back, heart thrumming. She tries the other boxes, but they're mostly filled with junk. Taking a deep breath, Maggie goes back to the first box and scrounges around in it. In the very bottom, she finds a small stack of notebook paper. She pulls it out and examines it… and gasps. The papers are covered in notes and scribbles, scratched-out diagrams and rough sketches. _These are Ford's._ Breath seizing in her lungs, Maggie pulls the entire box over to the couch and sits down to study the notes. It just occurred to her that amongst Ford's things she may find her ticket home.

Maggie quickly loses herself. The notes are complicated - almost nonsensical in places - and most of it doesn't make much sense to her. Her stomach growls, but she ignores it. She doesn't have time for food; she needs to go _home_. What's happening - where she's at - is impossible. She needs to get back to reality, where things mostly make sense.

Engrossed as she is, Maggie doesn't hear the knock on the door. It isn't until Mabel bursts in with a loud, "Rise and shine, sleepyhead!" that Maggie realizes what's going on. Mabel stops short with a perplexed look. "Whatcha doing?"

Maggie, looking like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar, just blinks at her. When Stan peers around the door, the blinking intensifies.

 _Well, crap._

Stan's expression goes from polite to stormy as he takes in the scene. "Hey, what're you doing?" he asks incredulously, pushing into the room. He's wearing his black suit and it makes him look taller. "Why are you going through my stuff?"

Maggie stutters, but nothing intelligible comes out. _Crap, crap, crap!_

Stan moves closer to see what exactly she's been looking at. She knows the moment he realizes because his face closes off.

"Who the hell are you?" he demands. "Some kinda spook?"

"N-no!" Maggie manages to stammer.

"Then why are you lookin' at that stuff?" His tone is icy now, as is his stare.

"I was just curious?" Even to herself, it sounds like a lie.

Stan's jaw is clenched and when he speaks, it's through gritted teeth. "Get out."

"But -"

"Now!" he growls, pointing at the door. "I want you outta my house!"

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel protests on her behalf, but he ignores it and glares at Maggie in silence.

 _Think!_ Her brain screams. _Fix this!_ If she gets kicked out now, she'll lose access to Ford's notes. She'll never make it home!

Maggie blurts out the first thing she can think of that will get Stan to let her stay.

"I can help you get Ford back!"

The ensuing silence is deafening. Stan visibly reels, face pale and lips bloodless. After a long, gut-churning moment, he speaks. "Mabel, go on up to your room."

"But - !"

"Please."

The uncharacteristic pleading note in his voice gets Mabel moving and she shuts the door behind herself with a quiet click. She may as well have slammed it with how hard Maggie flinches.

"Start talking," Stan spits. "And it'd better be good."

Maggie takes a shaky breath and covers her face with both hands. "Oh god, this is going to sound insane!"

"It already does," Stan replies bitingly. His arms are crossed and he looks pretty intimidating. "How the hell could ya possibly know about Ford? Has the government been watching this whole time?"

Maggie sighs. "I told you, I'm not with the government."

His eyes narrow behind his glasses. "Then who are you with? You said yer some kinda scientist. You after Ford's research?"

Maggie gulps. _Little too close, there_. "I'm not with anyone! And I'm a biologist!"

"Ford was researching stuff that's alive," Stan counters.

"Supernatural things!" Maggie argues. "I didn't even think that stuff was real!" She still doesn't, frankly. This all feels like a bad dream.

Stan makes an impatient noise. "Ya still haven't told me how ya know about Ford!"

"All right!" Maggie cries, throwing her hands up. "I…" Maggie hesitates. She can't _possibly_ tell him the truth! It would sound insane, even for Gravity Falls. He'd assume she's lying and kick her out for sure! But maybe… maybe she could give him half truths. "I'm from the future."

"The future," Stan repeats skeptically, then throws his head back and cackles. "Oh, that's a good one!" He wipes away a tear and shakes his head in amusement. "But what's the real story?"

Maggie just stares blankly at him. Stan stares back.

"Oh."

"Yeah…"

Stan's face runs a gamut of expressions. It finally settles on dismayed. He reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. "So you're tellin' me… what? That you know all of us in the future?" He laughs humorlessly.

"Yes." _Definitely. Not lying at all._

He sighs and lets his hand drop, leveling her with an unreadable expression. "So you know who my brother is and what I… what happened?"

Maggie nods.

"And ya know how to fix the portal?"

She hesitates. "Well…"

Stan glares and points an accusing finger at her. "You just said you could help me get him back."

"I think I can. You'd be able to do it on your own anyway, but maybe with my help we can get it done sooner. I'm better at biology, but I'm sure my two semesters of physics are still rattling around in here somewhere." Maggie taps her temple and tries for a smile. It falls a little short.

Stan studies her for a minute. "What else do ya know?"

Maggie bites her lip and shuffles in place. "I'm not sure how much I should tell you…"

"What?!" he barks incredulously. "You should tell me everything!"

"That's not a good idea, Stan. There are…" she glances over at the box full of pyramids, "...dangerous aspects to this. I need to be careful."

Stan gives her a calculating look. "I see," he finally says, skepticism obvious in his tone.

Maggie waits, but he doesn't say anything else. "So… can I stay?"

"Easier to keep an eye on ya that way," he grumbles. "But if you stay here, yer gonna have to work. And not just on the portal!" He wags a finger at her. "I got a business to run. I expect you to earn yer keep."

"Of course," Maggie agrees.

"Hmph," Stan huffs. "Let's get to work, then." He goes to open the door, then stops. "Aw, crap! Mabel." He glares at Maggie over his shoulder. "Why'd ya have to go and mention Ford in front of her? Now I'm never gonna hear the end of it from those two."

"You should tell them the truth, Stan," Maggie suggests hesitantly, wary of pushing her luck.

"Hah! Yeah right! No way am I draggin' those kids into this mess!"

Maggie frowns. "They're kinda already a part of it…"

He whirls around at that. "Whaddaya mean? I know they've seen some odd stuff, but -"

"Dipper has one of Ford's journals."

Face blank, Stan turns back around, lets his forehead fall against the door, and groans loudly in frustration.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

While Stan goes upstairs to talk to the twins, Maggie heads for the kitchen. Now that her concentration is broken and the drama has passed, she's starving. Feeling a bit guilty, considering she just got caught doing essentially the same thing downstairs, Maggie starts snooping through the cupboards. Hopefully, what she's about to do will make up for it, though.

Once she's found all the ingredients, Maggie combines them in a bowl and mixes. By the time the others enter the kitchen, she has the pancake batter ready to go.

Mabel bounces over. Maggie didn't notice it earlier, but there's a ring of glue still on her forehead from the unicorn horn. "What are you making?" she asks eagerly.

"Pancakes," Maggie replies. "Hope that's okay." She glances over at Stan to see his reaction, but his expression is neutral. He walks past her and starts making a pot of coffee.

Mabel squeals. "Of _course_ that's okay! It's more than okay!" She runs to grab something and thrusts it into Maggie's hands. "Will you make mine purple?"

Maggie looks down at the bottles of food coloring in her hands. _Why am I not surprised?_ "Of course," she tells Mabel and goes about setting some batter aside for the girl. She couldn't find a griddle anywhere, so she makes the pancakes one at a time in a skillet. While the first one cooks, she adds food coloring to Mabel's. The twins work on setting out every possible topping. When she asks why, they tell her it's because they weren't sure what she'd like. Maggie feels a strange twinge in her chest at that.

While Dipper and Mabel chat exuberantly about their plans for the day and Maggie cooks, Stan reads and sips on his cup of coffee. Maggie swears she feels eyes on her back, but every time she glanced round, he's focused on the newspaper.

For his part, Stan is feeling… conflicted. He doesn't trust Maggie; not one bit. But if she's really willing to help him with the portal, he can't pass that up. Up until this morning, he didn't even know whether Ford was alive or dead. Based on what Maggie said, though, not only is his brother alive, he'll be able to see him again. Finally make _sure_ he's safe. That's worth giving her a chance, at least.

Plus, she's seems to be good with the kids. That's… something.

Stan is pulled from his thoughts when a plate is set down in front of him. There are two steaming pancakes on it. He glances up and Maggie smiles at him. He has to admit, she's fairly attractive… if frizzy haired nerd was the kind of thing he went for. He glances away and clears his throat, setting the paper aside so he can dig into his food.

"I didn't have enough to make more than two for everyone," Maggie says, sitting down in front of her own plate.

Stan glances up and notices that she gave the kids theirs first. Mabel is munching happily on a light purple pancake, generously smothered in strawberry jam, whipped cream, _and_ syrup. Dipper has normal colored pancakes, but he seems content with that.

Stan pours some syrup on his and takes a bite.

 _Oh, Sweet Moses!_

He groans a little and shovels a bigger bite into his mouth. "These are good!" he exclaims through a mouthful of food.

Dipper and Mabel nod in agreement and Maggie grins.

"Thanks!"

"Tell us your secret ingredient!" Mabel demands. "There _has_ to be one. These are the best pancakes I've ever had!"

"Oh, that's just the cyanide," Maggie replies, deadpan. "The almond flavor just kicks it up that extra notch."

Stan chokes on his food. _Holy smokes!_ He really wasn't expecting that from her. "Well, the gremlins haven't dropped dead yet, so I'm probably safe," he retorts, just as dry. Maggie winks at him conspiratorially. His face feels strangely warm. _Must be the coffee._

"I don't even care if these are poisoned!" Mabel declares through a big bite.

"We'll die with an actual decent meal in us, at least," adds Dipper.

"You kids love my cooking!" Stan argues, even though he knows that's not true. He's an awful cook. Just the absolute worst.

"No, we don't," Mabel replies, then leans over to pinch his cheek with sticky fingers. "But we do love _you,_ so it's okay!"

Stan scoffs and gently bats her hand away, wiping his face with a napkin to hide that he's grinning like an idiot.

Meanwhile, Maggie is dealing with a complicated emotion bubbling in her chest. As she watches them interact, the world around her seems to sharpen a bit. Like a part of her that had been floating above it all, disconnected, just clicked into place.

Up until this moment, her brain had been overlaying their faces with cartoon renditions. She didn't even realize until it was gone. What's left is real. Human. They still resemble their animated selves, but there's so much _more_ to them.

 _I'm really here._

She's not sure how to feel. Terrified, definitely. Worried, absolutely. But as she watches these… people, she has to concede that there are far worse things that could've happened. She could be dead, for one. _Or undead!_

After breakfast, the kids run off somewhere, leaving Maggie and Stan sitting in awkward silence. It drags on for a while. Maggie takes a final sip of the coffee she pilfered and stares into the dregs. Suddenly, Stan slaps his hands on the table and stands up.

"Well, I've got a tour comin' at ten. Better get ready for that and stuff." He hurries out of the room, and then it's just her.

 _Might as well make myself useful._

Maggie starts cleaning up. She puts away toppings and washes the dishes. Which leads to scrubbing the sink and counters, which leads to thoroughly cleaning the whole kitchen. Whatever. It's a good way to work out her frustration. It's not like this will become a habit. She's not their maid.

When she's done, the place looks a lot better. Not _great_ , but better. At least there aren't animal carcasses on the counter anymore.

Maggie decides another shower is in order. And maybe she should wash her underwear. She regrets that decision an hour later when she has to go commando while they air dry downstairs. Next time, she'll just do the dang laundry.

* * *

Maggie wanders around the gift shop, examining the merchandise with idle curiosity. The redheaded teen behind the counter, who she is just going to assume is Wendy, hasn't looked up from her phone once. Maggie wonders if Wendy even realizes she's here.

She's inspecting one of the bobbleheads when Stan leads the tour group in.

"Here we are, folks! Welcome to the Mystery Shack gift shop, where dreams come true! Why not pick up a souvenir or twenty to show off to the folks back home? Everybody loves souvenirs! Buy one for grandma! Buy another for your girlfriend! Just buy something!"

Stan finishes his little promotional speech and lets the excited tourists flood into the shop. He looks around, still wearing a somewhat sleazy grin, and startles a little when he sees her. She gives him a small smile and his turns a bit more genuine.

She goes back to studying the Mr. Mystery bobblehead. She actually has one of these back home, sitting on a shelf in her room. _Weird. Don't think about it._

Just as she's about to put it back, someone appears next to her and leans in to look.

"It's just the tour guide," the woman comments, sounding confused and disappointed.

"Mr. Mystery, you mean?" Maggie clarifies, feeling oddly defensive.

The woman gives a noncommittal hum. "Yeah, whatever he called himself. Kinda hokey, right?"

Maggie shrugs, affecting indifference. "I dunno, I kinda like it." She holds the figure up, gives the head a little bop, and smiles softly. "You have to admit, he's got a certain charm."

The woman looks at her quizzically. "The bobblehead?"

Maggie chuckles. "No, the tour guide." She shrugs again. "Either way, I have a bit of a weakness for this sort of thing." She waves her hand around to indicate the whole place, then grins at the woman. "I think I'll go ahead and get one of these. Nice chatting with you."

"Oh, yeah, you too!" the woman replies without looking away from the display.

Maggie takes hers and goes to look at the t-shirts. When she glances back, the tourist has not one, but _three_ Mr. Mystery bobbleheads in her arms and is still looking around. Maggie's eyes slide to the left and lock with Stan's. He's staring at her in shock. She quickly looks away, blushing inexplicably.

A while later, when Maggie dares to look around again, her eyes widen in surprise. The tourists are lined up at the register, arms laden with souvenirs, and there isn't a single bobblehead left on display.

In a bit of a daze, Maggie grabs a shirt and gets in line too. She's not really sure what just happened, but she should probably make it look like she's going to buy this stuff.

A little while later, the guy in front of her finishes paying and wanders out the door. Maggie sets the shirt and statue on the counter and opens her mouth to speak.

Before she can utter a single syllable, Stan grabs her by the shoulders and shakes her. "Ha!" he exclaims, grinning widely. "That was incredible! I could kiss you!"

Maggie blinks rapidly.

Stan lets go of her and pumps a fist in the air, whooping with joy. "I think we know what your job is gonna be!" he says with a laugh and pushes Wendy out of the way so he can count the money.

Wendy rolls her eyes and finally looks at Maggie. "Hey, I heard you're staying here for a bit. I'm Wendy."

"Maggie," she replies a bit absently.

"Cool," Wendy says, unbothered, and goes back to texting.

Maggie, feeling distinctly off-kilter, turns to go into the house part of the Mystery Shack.

"Don't forget yer stuff!" Stan calls. Maggie whirls around with a confused expression. He's pushing the merchandise on the counter toward her without looking.

"But… I haven't paid for them," she protests weakly. Stan just waves a dismissive hand, too busy counting.

 _Oh. Well then._

Maggie takes her new things and goes into the house. At least she has more than one shirt to wear now. And if she's maybe a little more pleased about it than such practicality warrants, nobody needs to know.

Back in the gift shop, Stan finishes counting his money and closes the register with a satisfied smile. Perhaps Maggie isn't so bad after all. And if he's thinking more about what she said to the tourist and less about the money… well, nobody needs to know.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

He takes it back. _All of it._ Maggie is an arrogant jerk with absolutely no respect for the years - _decades -_ he's spent deciphering Ford's notes. All those sleepless nights… the despair and anguish and frustration. Who does she think she is, waltzing in and taking over like that? He knows he's no genius, but did she have to rub it in his face?

Stan slams the fridge shut, cracks open the can of beer he hid in the back (behind the pickled eggs where Mabel wouldn't snoop), and takes a swig. He sits down at the table, not even bothering to turn on the lights.

This was for the best, really. This way, at least, Ford would be back for sure. Stan would've just managed to screw it up, like he always does.

But God, how embarrassing. He's been working on this stuff for half his life. Then, from the moment they entered the basement lab, it was "Stan, this calculation is wrong," and "here, let me show you the _right_ way," and "it's going to take forever to double check all of this." Well, screw that! If she wanted to work on the portal all by herself, she was welcome to it!

He's tired of it, anyway.

Stan takes another swig of beer. "Ah, who am I kidding?" he sighs. He knows he can't just walk away from this. He's the one who pushed his brother into the portal in the first place; he'll be there when Ford comes back out. He owes him that much, at least.

But, for now, he's going to sit here and drink this gross beer. Maggie can have fun _checking his calculations_.

Down in the basement, though, Maggie is doing anything but. Sure, she's looking at the calculations. Checking? Not so much. Her leg bounces rapidly, an outlet for her mounting frustration. Okay, anger. Definitely anger. Stan just stormed off in a huff, leaving her to work on this alone. What, does he just expect her to take over? She doesn't get it; she thought this meant more to him than that.

Maggie curses and throws her pencil across the room. It hits the wall with a very unsatisfying _ting_. "This sucks," she grumbles. The evening had started out great, too. Stan was in a good mood after the gift shop thing and even thanked her for cleaning the kitchen. The twins had come back from a day of doing who knows what and they'd all crowded around the TV for a movie and leftover Chinese takeout. Then the kids had gone to bed and she and Stan had gone down to the lab. He'd been practically cheerful, showing her his work and explaining what he thought each machine did. Then they'd sat down and she'd gotten to work. It took her a bit to get a handle on the math, but all of the base work was there already.

The longer she worked, the more impressed she became. How in the _world_ had Stan figured this stuff out with no formal education to guide him? Whenever she found a mistake, she made sure to explain it to Stan so that he'd know for future reference. Clearly, he was smart enough to understand. But the more she did that, the grumpier Stan got with her, until he just got up and left.

 _It just doesn't make sense!_

Maggie's leg stops bouncing and she frowns. It _doesn't_ make sense, does it? So… that means she's missing something. The only way she's going to find out what is to go talk to Stan. Which isn't nerve-wracking at _all_.

Maggie groans and stands up, then goes upstairs in search of Stan.

When she finds him, he's sitting in the dark kitchen alone, staring down at the formica table.

 _Here we go…_

Maggie walks over to the table and sits down across from Stan. They remain in silence; he doesn't even look up. She clears her throat. "Hey, Stan, is… how come you're up here?"

Stan finally looks at her, and even though it's too dark to see his features clearly, she can tell something is weighing on him. Something more than the usual, that is.

"Just needed some air," he replies, distant.

Maggie's eyes narrow. That was obviously not the whole truth. What could've upset Stan so much he had to come up here and brood like this? Clearly, Stan isn't going to tell her, so she'll just have to figure it out herself.

 _Think, Maggie. What do you know about the situation?_

They were working on the portal. Stan was excited and… proud? Then Maggie started going over his calculations and correcting his work.

 _Oh! Oh…_

Marching in and immediately pointing out his mistakes must have made Stan feel like the 'stupid twin.' Which was nonsense, of course. He's not stupid; not by any means. Just look at what he's accomplished on his own! Running his own business during the day, then staying up most of the night to recreate an extremely complicated experiment using only his brother's (frankly nonsensical) notes.

She should probably tell him that. Carefully, though, so it doesn't sound forced.

"I have to say, I'm seriously impressed by your work on the portal. How you made any sense out of Ford's notes in the first place is beyond me. They're absolute _gibberish_!"

There's a lengthy silence, wherein Maggie hardly breathes, then, "It took the better part of three decades. Nothin' to be impressed by."

"You're joking, right?" Maggie replies incredulously. "You've been doing work that's way beyond your education level. Beyond _mine!_ Not to mention, this is some _very_ theoretical stuff. And your only resource has been _one_ of Ford's journals and some miscellaneous notes? I'm going to have to visit the library in town just to brush up on my calculus! And you've been running your own business to boot! Do you have any idea how goddamn impressive that is?!"

Maggie finally stops to breathe, only then realizing that she's standing up and leaning over the table. She colors and sits back down immediately. "Sorry, uh, got a bit carried away there." _So much for subtle..._

Stan doesn't say anything and when she looks up, he's staring at her like she just slapped him. Maggie stares back, not sure what to do. Did she cross a line somewhere? Why is he looking at her like that?

Stan snaps out of it, giving his head a shake. Then he's… stammering? _What the hell?_

"I, um, wow… I mean, I didn't… that- that's somethin'..." His mouth snaps shut and he looks away. A moment later, she hears a very quiet, "Thanks."

Maggie shrugs. "It's the truth."

Stan clears his throat and fidgets in his seat. "Should we, um… should we get back to work?"

"Yeah," Maggie agrees. "We should also figure out how to get the other two journals. We're going to need them to activate the portal. Getting Dipper's shouldn't be too hard. He does keep an awfully close eye on it, though…"

"You know where the last one is, too?" Stan asks, sounding excited again.

Maggie grins, anticipating his reaction. "Gideon has it."

" _What_?! That obnoxious brat has my brother's journal?!" Stan crushes his beer can angrily. "That's it. We're gonna go break into a child's bedroom tonight." He stands, ready to go, but Maggie places a hand on his arm to stop him.

"Actually, I think we should let him bring it right to us," Maggie says with a wicked smile.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The next few days pass like she remembers they did in the show. ( _Weird, weird, weird!)_ The weather takes a turn for the scorching and they all make their way to the local pool. Maggie sits on the edge and dangles her feet in the water, content to let things play out. Though she does make a point of tripping Gideon before he can steal Stan's chair. The look on his pudgy little face when he stands back up is priceless. Stan's laughter is better.

Mabel is on the other side of the pool, chatting with a dark-haired boy who must be Mermando. A merman… child. Merchild? Whatever he is, he's right there, living and breathing like merpeople are a thing. _They are here, and you're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy._

Maggie eventually ends up dozing in the shade of a big umbrella. She didn't get enough sleep last night; they were up late working on calculations. Soos wakes her with a shake and a "C'mon, dude," and they head back to the Shack.

That night, after watching Mabel take off in the golf cart, she brings a couple of mugs of coffee down to the lab and hands one to Stan.

"Did the gremlins go to bed?" he asks absently.

"Nah," Maggie replies nonchalantly. "Dipper's on guard duty at the pool and Mabel's smuggling a merman - merboy? - to the lake in a cooler."

Stan chokes on his coffee and stares at the wall with a nonplussed expression. "God, I really need to pay more attention to those kids."

Maggie shuffles through some papers, trying to find where she left off. "Eh, I wouldn't worry about it. They're not in any danger." She stops and turns to look at Stan. "That reminds me, though. I forgot to ask what you told them after Mabel heard me say your brother's name."

Stan chuckles. "I just made somethin' up about a car I lost in a bet. Said you were gonna help me get it back."

Maggie snorts in amusement. "When Ford gets back, I'm gonna tell him you compared him to a car."

"Oh, he'd love that," Stan says with a laugh.

They fall silent for a bit, but there's something bothering Maggie. "Stan?"

"Yeah?"

"When are you going to tell them about Ford?"

Stan sighs and pushes the journal away. "I don't know…"

"They're gonna find out eventually," Maggie persists. "It would be better if they heard it from you first." She doesn't know why she's pushing this. It's not like it affects her. She knows everything will work out for the Pines family. She really shouldn't be meddling. She should just figure out how to get home and _leave_.

"I know, I know," Stan grumbles, pulling her out of her reverie. "But how do I even start that conversation? 'Hey, kids! Guess what! My name's not Stanford, it's actually Stanley. I'm trying to get my twin brother - the real Stanford - back using the portal in our secret basement!'"

"Sounds fine to me," Maggie teases.

"Ha, ha."

"Seriously, though," she pushes. "They're not gonna care how you say, just that you say it at all."

"Right…" Stan gives an uncomfortable shrug and goes back to studying the journal.

Suddenly remembering something else, Maggie says, "Oh! Ford used invisible ink to write more in those. You can see it with a blacklight."

Stan blinks at her, then shakes his head. "Cripe's sake, Poindexter," he grumbles, and starts searching through drawers for a blacklight.

Time passes and Maggie falls into a routine. During the day, she restocks the shop and poses as another tourist when bigger groups come through. Stan pays her next to nothing, but she doesn't complain. He's letting her live there and eat his food, all while giving her full access to the only thing she's truly interested in. She does use some of her money to buy extra clothes, though.

Dipper and Mabel don't spend a whole lot of time around her. Not surprising. Though she's sure they didn't buy Stan's story about a car, they don't seem overly suspicious of her. Sometimes she catches Dipper watching her with a calculating gleam in his eye, but he never says anything outright. Mabel, for her part, seems content to just let it go.

Some mornings, Maggie wakes to little surprises from Mabel. One time, it was a cup of sludgy, cold coffee with a gummy worm draped over the edge. The gummy worm wasn't bad. Another, it was a bunch of stickers on her face. Honestly, she must be more of a deep sleeper than she thought.

With Maggie in Ford's old thinking parlor, the twins never get the chance to fight over the room. She already rolled up the rug and put it in the corner where it won't cause any trouble. Mabel still has her sleepover and Maggie lets Dipper crash on the couch while she takes the floor. She lets him know that he's welcome to do that whenever Mabel has a sleepover, but also drops subtle hints that he should tell his sister what's really bothering him. She doesn't know if he listens to her advice, but the twins seem okay, so…

A few days later, when she catches Mabel, Candy, and Grenda trying to sneak Sev'ral Timez upstairs, she pretends not to notice. Some things are probably best left alone.

Life with the Pines family is pretty uneventful, all things considered. Until it's not.

Maggie is almost back from her fruitless trip to the library (and to the shops; all of the chargers are too old for her phone) when something huge flies overhead. She hears a pig squealing and feels her stomach drop into her shoes.

 _Oh no…_

Maggie starts running toward the shack. She feels terrible! She'd been so caught up in portal work and researching a way home, she totally forgot about the stupid dinosaur! _Poor Waddles!_

She rounds the last corner just as the others are piling into Soos' truck.

"Maggie!" Mabel shouts out the window. "A pterodactyl just took Waddles! C'mon! We have to go save him!"

Maggie rips the back door open and slides in. "Floor it, Soos!"

"You got it, dude!" Soos stomps on the gas pedal and they speed out of the parking lot.

Mabel fills Maggie in on what happened, including how Stan punched the pterodactyl to try to save Waddles. Maggie looks over Mabel's head at Stan, raising an eyebrow. He gives her a 'what? I didn't do nothin'' shrug. Maggie shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

They follow the red yarn to the abandoned church and pile out. Maggie bends down to inspect the string. "How did all this yarn come out of one ball?" she asks. She'd always wondered that.

"It was an extra large," Mabel replies seriously. "I do _a lot_ of knitting."

Maggie shrugs and follows the others into the church. On the other side, Fiddleford McGucket sits in a rocking chair, making banjo sounds with his mouth… with a perfectly good banjo in his lap.

"Old Man McGucket?" Mabel sounds confused and surprised.

McGucket turns to look at them with a big grin and a wave. "Howdy, friends!" he calls.

"What are you doing out here?" Dipper asks.

McGucket explains how the dinosaur stole his musical spoons and flew into the abandoned mines. They all step closer and peer through the hole in the floor. Maggie's stomach does a flip. That is a _long_ way down!

While Maggie has a private freakout session, Soos grabs some rope from his truck. He secures one end to a post and tosses the other into the hole. The others start climbing down, but Maggie is rooted to the spot. All she can think about is how the rope is going to break and then they'll be stuck down there with a _dinosaur_! And there's no way they can ride a geyser back up like in the show. It doesn't make any sense! Geysers are boiling hot! They'll be scalded to death!

"Maggie, you comin'?" Stan asks, lowering himself over the edge.

Maybe she should stay up here… throw them another rope when this one inevitably breaks. Yeah… that sounds much better. Smarter.

She takes a step back and shakes her head.

"Suit yerself," he says and disappears into the hole.

Maggie can hear McGucket telling his racoon story. _Poor Fiddleford…_ She can also hear their screams when the rope snaps. Heart thundering, she lays on the floor and looks down into the hole.

"Are you guys okay?" she shouts.

There's no answer. _Oh god!_ Why didn't she tell them about the rope? What is _wrong_ with her?!

Then Stan is yelling back, "We're fine!" and Maggie can breathe again. She stands and hurries out to the truck to start looking for more rope.

Then she waits. And waits. And waits. Until her worry has overridden her fear and she's lowering herself into the mines, too. With an axe strapped to her back. There's no way she's going down into a pit full of dinos with only her bare hands to protect her; she's not Stan.

Halfway down the rope, she's reminded of just how weak her arms are. When they give out on her, it's not exactly a surprise, and she slides quickly down the rest of the way. Her hands burn horribly from the friction, but she doesn't let go. She falls a short distance, bounces off a giant mushroom, and lands face down on the ground.

"Ugh…"

Maggie pulls herself up and listens. There are a lot of tunnels, but if she can just… There! She takes off running toward the sound of voices and arrives just in time to watch Stan and the pig plummet into the abyss. Maggie's breath freezes in her lungs.

"Stan!" she screams, racing to the edge. _He'll be okay, he's fine, he's not dead._ But this isn't a cartoon and she's not sure how a person could survive that. "You better be alive, you son of a bitch," she growls lowly and focuses her attention on the kids. They're in serious danger and she needs to get them to safety. Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and McGucket are in the nest. Mabel is clutching Stan's hat and they're all watching as the giant egg starts to crack. All except for Dipper, who is watching her.

"Get out of there!" she yells, heart racing. "Now!"

Dipper grabs Mabel's wrist and drags her back to the tracks. Soos follows, and they start making their way across. Dipper's foot slips and she's pretty sure she has an actual heart attack, but he rights himself and they continue.

"Careful, _please!"_ she calls, and realizes her arms are outstretched, as if she could've caught him. "Come on, guys, you're almost there, just a little further!"

When Dipper gets close enough, she reaches out a hand and helps him. With the other hand, she does the same for Mabel. She gives Soos a nod when he makes it, both hands still holding onto the kids. Only then does she realize McGucket isn't with them. He's still in the nest, watching the baby pterodactyl crawl out of its egg.

 _Oh hell._

Maggie pushes the kids behind her and starts unstrapping the axe from her back.

" _Fiddleford H. McGucket!"_ she bellows. "Get over here _now!"_

McGucket looks up and blinks, one eye at a time. "Ma, is that you?"

 _For the love of -!_

"Yes! Now get over here! Quickly!"

McGucket scurries across the gap, but not fast enough. The young pterodactyl takes notice and starts to crawl after him, gaining speed.

Maggie looks frantically around. _What do I do? What do I_ _ **do**_ _?_ Maggie adjusts her grip on the axe. She doesn't want to chop into a baby dino's head right in front of the kids, but she will if she has to!

McGucket clears the expanse and that's when Maggie sees it. Only one of the rails is connected on this side and it's rusted nearly all the way through. It's a wonder it held up this long, actually. Maggie brings the axe down hard on the weakest spot. Then does it again. And again.

"Maggie, look out!" Dipper shouts.

She swings the axe one more time. With a metallic shriek, the rail snaps and swings down, sending the baby pterodactyl falling to it's possible (probable) death.

The others let out cheers behind her, but she's been distracted by movement below. A vast shadow is rising from the depths. A gust of wind knocks her back as the mother pterodactyl whips past them.

"Was that…?" Dipper trails off in shock.

" _Stan?"_ Mabel finishes, sounding just as astonished.

Maggie looks up and feels her mouth fall open. _He's actually doing it!_ Theoretically, she knew this would happen, but seeing it with her own two eyes is a whole other thing. Because that's really Stan up there on that pterodactyl, punching it in the _eye,_ with Waddles strapped to his back. Stan is fighting a freaking _dinosaur_ with his _bare hands._

"Sweet mother of all that's holy," she breathes, unable to look away.

Stan lands a final blow and the pterodactyl pitches forward, throwing him toward the cliff edge. He grabs on and pulls himself up, grunting and panting. The others run toward him, exclaiming their joy.

"Here's your pig, kiddo," he says, picking up one of Waddles' feet and waving it at Mabel.

"Ohhh! Waddles!" Mabel takes the pig from Stan and cuddles it. "You saved him for me!" she says, looking up at Stan as he reclaims his hat.

Maggie doesn't hear his response. Behind him, a giant claw is rising over the edge of the cliff.

"RUN!" Maggie cries, rushing _toward_ the pterodactyl like an _idiot._ She screams as she swings the axe hard into the dinosaur's face. Something wet hits her cheek, but then Stan is dragging her backward and the pterodactyl slips over the edge, axe still embedded in its head.

They run as fast as they can anyway. When they reach the first cavern, Soos is standing on a mushroom and lifting the kids up to the rope. McGucket just scurries up onto Soos' shoulders and jumps to the rope.

"Ouch, dude!" Soos complains, following after him.

Stan gives Maggie a boost onto the mushroom. She starts climbing up after the others, Stan right below her. She doesn't feel the burn in her hands or her muscles; she's probably running on pure adrenaline at this point. Maggie is almost to the top when that runs dry. Soos reaches down to grab her, but she starts to slip. A large hand lands on her butt and pushes her the rest of the way up. Maggie pulls herself out of the hole and sprawls on the floor, panting and starting to shake.

Stan flops down next to her with a groan. "Ow…"

 _Oh my_ _ **god**_ _, did I just attack a dinosaur with an_ _ **axe**_ _?_

"Everyone okay?" Stan calls without moving and gets a bunch of tired affirmatives. "Good, good. I'm just gonna rest here for a minute."

 _Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!_

He turns his head to look at Maggie. "Oh, hey, you got a little somethin'..." He points at her cheek and she lifts a hand to it. Her fingers come away red.

"Oh…" She sits up and stares at the blood.

"Here," Stan says softly, before sitting up, too, and pulling out a grimy handkerchief. He wipes gently at her cheek. "At least it's not yers," he says quietly.

She glances up in surprise and their eyes lock. An indeterminate amount of time passes. Stan's hand - the one holding the handkerchief - drops to his lap. Then a floorboard creaks and they're both blinking and looking away. Maggie's face is on fire.

Stan clears his throat awkwardly. Then he chuckles unexpectedly. Maggie dares a glance. He's grinning at her.

"Holy sh- smokes!" he exclaims. "You just attacked that thing with an _axe_! Are you _insane_?"

" _Me_?!" she gasps incredulously, shoving at his shoulder. "You punched it! _With your bare hands!"_

A moment of silence and then they both crack. Stan throws his head back and cackles while Maggie doubles over and laugh-snorts.

"Whoa," Dipper says, coming over to them. "Are you guys okay? You're acting a little… weird."

"We are!" Maggie barely manages to reply through her laughter. She's not even sure which part she's answering. Both, probably. They're okay. Weird and okay.


	8. Chapter 8

Notes: Sorry about not posting a chapter on Sunday. I totally forgot!

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

When they start piling into the truck, McGucket hangs back, looking unsure. Well, she thinks that's what is going on. It's hard to tell with that face if his.

Maggie makes a decision.

"Fiddleford," she calls and he looks at her. "You should come have dinner with us."

"I'm not feeding that crazy old coot!" Stan protests and she elbows him in the ribs. "Oof!"

A wide smile spreads across McGucket's face and he runs over to the truck and climbs in through the window. He squats on the floor, which she has to admit is kind of weird.

They drive back to the Shack. Mabel insisted on sitting next to Stan and now the two of them are sacked out and leaning against each other. Maggie watches them with something dangerously close to fondness. In the front, though, Soos and Dipper aren't talking. That strikes her as odd and she peels her eyes away from the adorable scene in the backseat.

 _Maybe they're just tired, too,_ Maggie thinks. It's a reasonable assumption, but it doesn't feel quite right. If anything, the silence seems almost sullen. Like they're mad and not talking to one another because of it.

Maggie has the urge to slap her forehead. _Duh!_ She interfered before Soos could use his idea to save them. It strikes her then that she needs to be careful about that stuff, as well. If she mucks around too much, she could mess things up more than she fixes them.

"You know," she says softly, leaning forward, "this whole ordeal really makes you think."

"About how other dinosaurs could still be roaming the Earth?" Soos asks.

Maggie grins. "No, though that is a good point. Actually, I was thinking about how sometimes people mess up. But if you really care about them and they try to make things right, you should just forgive them. Take it from an old lady; life's too short to hold grudges."

Soos laughs. "You're not an old lady, Miss..." He trails off, unsure.

Maggie chuckles and answers the unspoken question, "O'Leary. But you can just call me Maggie, Soos." Soos nods. "Also, I'm fifty seven. That's not young."

"Huh, that's not much younger than Mr. Pines," is all Soos says in reply. Both boys stay quiet for the rest of the trip, but it's contemplative now.

Then they're at the Shack and Maggie is shaking Stan and Mabel awake. They all pile out.

"Can we order pizza, Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asks sweetly as they walk toward the door. Stan soon has both twins inundating him with pleas for pizza.

Maggie realizes that McGucket isn't walking with them and turns around with a quizzical expression. He's still standing by Soos' pickup, stark stiff with terror as he looks up at the ramshackle building. She knows immediately what's wrong and hurries back over to him.

"Fiddleford. Hey, look at me." She snaps her fingers in front of his face to get his attention. One of his eyes focuses in her. _Good enough._ "You don't have to go in, okay?" she reassures him. "I'll bring some food out for you and we can have ourselves a bit of a picnic. How's that sound?"

"Sounds mighty fine ta me, ma'am!" he replies with a grin, then glances over her shoulder. His smile drops. "Boy howdy! That there house gives me the jumpin' jitters! I can't reckon why."

Maggie looks at him sadly, then schools her expression and lays a hand on his shoulder. "You wanna wait on the porch while I see what we're doing for dinner?"

He nods and they walk up to the house. She leaves her hand on his shoulder the whole way, then gives it a squeeze and goes inside.

"So," Maggie calls, stooping to pull off her borrowed tennis shoes with a pained groan. They're Wendy's and a bit too small. "What are we having for dinner?"

"Piz-za! Piz-za! Piz-za! Piz-za!" the twins chant from the kitchen.

"Shut yer yaps," Stan chides. "I'm tryin' to order."

Maggie smiles and shakes her head. She enters the kitchen to find Dipper and Mabel still freaking out over the events of this afternoon. Soos is sitting at the table, munching on some chips.

"Grunkle Stan, that was seriously awesome!" Dipper says excitedly. "You were just like-" He re-enacts Stan punching the pterodactyl, complete with sound effects.

"And Maggie was like, 'Raaaaaawww!'" Mabel runs across the room, an actual meat cleaver raised above her head.

"Whoa, whoa! Okay, that's enough of that," Stan says nervously, plucking the sharp object out of his niece's hands. "How do you two still have this much energy?"

"The beast inside of me has awoken!" Mabel cries, baring her brace-covered teeth. "I must _fight!"_

Dipper screeches like a pterodactyl and tackles his sister. The two of them wrestle on the floor while Stan laughs and watches fondly. He catches Maggie looking and grins. She smiles back and gets a couple glasses of water for herself and McGucket.

"If you need me, I'll be out front," she tells Stan and steps over the twins on her way out. Behind her, she hears Stan and Soos making bets on the fight.

Fiddleford is waiting for her on the front step, muttering to himself. She sits next to him and offers the drink. He gulps it down and tosses the cup over his shoulder.

 _Thank goodness that was plastic,_ Maggie thinks. She notices the banjo by his feet. "Do you actually know how to play that thing?"

"Sure do!" McGucket picks up the instrument… and starts making banjo noises again.

"No, I mean _play_ it," Maggie interrupts.

He gives her a confused look. "I _am_ playin' it!"

 _Oh._ Gently, Maggie takes one of his dirty fingers and plucks a string with it. "Can you play it like that?"

"Well, why didn'tcha jus' say so?" He laughs and plays an impressive riff.

Maggie grins. "Hmm… let's see how well you do with this," she challenges and starts singing.

" _Over yonder in the graveyard  
Where the wild, wild flowers grow  
Oh there they lay o'er my true lover  
She's gone from me forever more."_

Fiddleford only needs the first verse to catch the tune and then he's plucking along.

" _Fairer than the sweetest flower  
Restless as the wildest wind  
Born with a love deep as the ocean  
This was the girl that I did win."_

Music drifts into the kitchen and Mabel stops wrestling with Dipper to listen.

"Do you hear that?" she asks, sitting up.

"Sounds like… a banjo?" Dipper guesses. "Is Old Man McGucket actually playing instead of pretending to?" He laughs at his own lame joke, but Mabel is too preoccupied to make fun of him for it.

"No, _listen!_ Is that Maggie singing?"

Stan walks out of the kitchen and Mabel follows him, Dipper and Soos just behind her. They crowd around the door and Stan eases it open a crack so they can peek through.

Out on the front steps, Old Man McGucket is playing the banjo (pretty well, too, as far as she can tell) and Maggie is singing. This isn't the kind of music Mabel prefers, but she likes the way Maggie sings it. Her voice is like a warm hug.

" _Left her there back in the mountains  
To see the world, riches to gain  
Oh when I returned no earthly treasures  
Could ease this heart so full of pain."_

Grunkle Stan opens the door a little more and leans against the frame. Mabel and Dipper squeeze into the remaining gap. Soos is tall enough that he can see over all of them. Their jaws collectively drop when McGucket launches into a crazy (but still good!) solo. Maggie laughs delightedly and claps along. When it's over, she starts singing again.

" _There so high upon that mountain  
Beneath that little mound of clay  
Oh, the girl that I returned to marry  
So still among the flowers she lay."_

Mabel glances up at Stan to see his reaction to this… and… is that what she thinks it is?! With a widening grin, Mabel takes in the look on her great uncle's face. It's hard to describe, exactly… Part fond, part confused. But Mabel doesn't pride herself on her match-making skills for nothing. She would bet _Waddles_ that Grunkle Stan has a big, fat crush on Maggie!

Part of Mabel's mind is running around, screaming and throwing flower petals everywhere. The other part, though, is already busy scheming.

" _I'll go away and I will wander  
Lay aside my earthly gain  
Oh and I'll not end it, the man with riches  
Undone in sorrow I remain  
Undone in sorrow I remain."_

Old Man McGucket strikes the last chord and only then takes notice of them. "Howdy, friends!" he greets happily. "How long ya'll been standin' there?"

Maggie whirls around in surprise, blushing hard. She notices Stan and gets even more red. Mabel has to suppress a squeal.

"Didja hear our song?" McGucket continues and starts humming and dancing around. "Reminds me of home!"

Maggie smiles at the crazy old man, as if that's exactly what she wanted to hear.

"That was really good!" Mabel assures them, then throws Stan a sly grin. "I know Grunkle Stan sure enjoyed it!"

Stan frowns down at her, then narrows his eyes in suspicion.

"You should play something else while we wait for the pizza," Mabel suggests. She grabs Stan's hand and drags him over to sit on the steps, placing herself between him and Maggie.

"Alright, um…" Maggie thinks for a moment, then launches into a new song.

"I'm gonna go grab Waddles!" Mabel announces and stands. "I don't want him to miss this." She goes inside, sneaking a glance back at Stan and Maggie. He's watching Maggie with that look on his face again.

 _Excellent_ , Mabel thinks, and grabs Dipper's arm as she passes him. "Dipper, I need your help!" she whispers excitedly, and she's not talking about looking for Waddles.

* * *

Notes: The song Maggie sings is Undone in Sorrow by Ola Belle Reed


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Maggie pays closer attention to the timeline after that. It's been a while since she last watched the show, but she's also seen it multiple times. Therefore, unless her memory has completely failed her, the next big event she needs to worry about is Gideon stealing the deed to the Shack.

Luckily, they've prepared for this one. She already told Stan that Gideon would break in. She has _not_ told him about Bill, however. Tonight's the night, though…

Down in the lab, Maggie opens her mouth to speak… and Stan beats her to it.

"So… how d'you know us?" he asks, fidgeting with a pencil.

Maggie, brought up short, blinks rapidly. "Huh?"

"From the future, I mean." He glances at her, clears his throat, and goes back to twirling the pencil.

Alarm bells are ringing in Maggie's head. _Not part of the plan! Abort! Abort!_

"I… um, well… you see…" _Think, think, think!_ "I'm not sure how much I should tell you!" she blurts. "Don't wanna mess with the timeline too much, you know?" There, that sounded plausible.

Stan's shoulders slump. "Oh… yeah, you've said that before." He shrugs and throws her a halfhearted grin. "Worth a try, though."

Maggie smiles back uncomfortably.

"It's just… you know a whole helluva lot about me 'n' my family. More'n I'd ever want some stranger knowing," Stan admits, turning to face her fully. "So I figured ya must be somethin' more. To the family, that is." Stan colors and swivels back around in his chair. "Nevermind, I'm just gonna get back to this." He hunches over his work, but even in the weird lighting of the lab, Maggie can tell his ears are red.

 _What in the…?_

She's not really sure what just happened or why Stan would be embarrassed. It was a perfectly valid supposition. Then again, he does tend to get self-conscious about silly things. Maggie decides that must be it and gets back to her own work. Two seconds later, she remembers she was going to tell him something.

"Hey, Stan?" she prompts, turning to face him again.

"Hm?" He doesn't look up.

"I know what I just said about the timeline, but I think there's something you should know."

He looks up at her then, his eyebrows furrowed. He's waiting for her to go on, but it's like her tongue has glued itself to the roof of her mouth. After a moment, Stan rotates so he's facing her.

"I'm gettin' a little worried here," he jokes, chuckling nervously.

Maggie sighs and scrubs a hand over her face. "Sorry… I just don't know where to start."

"Take yer time."

She smiles gratefully at him and pulls in a deep breath. "I need to tell you about…" Maggie's skin prickles; this feels dangerous. She forces the words out anyway. "... about Bill Cypher."

Stan raises an eyebrow. "Bill…?"

"Cypher, yes." She nods.

"Okay…" He's giving her a weird look; she doesn't blame him. "What about 'im?"

Maggie chews on her lip. This is a lot harder than she thought.

"What, is he yer boyfriend or something?"

"OH MY GOD, NO!" Maggie shouts, feeling like she's just been beat upside the head with that question. That question just dragged her into an alley and sucker punched her right in the gut. She feels a bit nauseated, actually.

"Yeesh!" Stan holds his hands up defensively. "Ya gonna tell me what he _is_ , then?"

"H-he's a demon!" Maggie sputters.

Stan blinks at her. "A demon? Named _Bill_?" He throws his head back and cackles. "Pull the other one!"

Maggie's face heats up and her fingers curll into fists. "I'm being serious, Stan!"

"Fine, fine," he says, holding up his hands again. "Tell me about this demon named Bill." He chuckles again and settles into his chair.

Maggie composes herself. "When you first came to Gravity Falls, do you remember how crazy your brother was acting?"

The grin drops off of Stan's face. "Vaguely."

"He asked if you were there to steal his eyes?" Maggie says, hoping to jog his memory.

Stan nods. "I remember. He answered the door with a crossbow, then kept askin' if I'd been followed."

"He was acting like that for a reason."

"I just figured he'd been holed up here for too long."

"I'm sure that was part of it," Maggie responds. "But he couldn't really trust anyone at that point."

Stan snaps his fingers. "He mentioned that. Said I was the only one left he could trust with his stupid journal." Stan scoffs. "He probably drove everyone else away. I was just his last resort."

Maggie's lips twist. "Yes and no," she concedes. "He did drive everyone away, you included. But I don't think he decided to give you the journal _just_ because he was out of options."

"But he said-"

"Come on, Stan," Maggie interrupts. "You know Ford better than anyone. Has he ever struck you as a good communicator?"

Stan shrugs and looks down at his lap.

"That's not my point, though," she continues, getting back on track. She thinks about it, however, and… "Actually, it might be. Ford drove everyone away and he was lonely. Lonely and easy prey for the likes of Bill Cypher."

Stan's eyes are boring holes in her now. "Are you tellin' me…?"

"That Bill tricked your brother into making a deal? Yes."

"What kinda deal?"

"The kind that gave Bill unrestricted access to Ford's mind."

Stan's head drops into his hands and he's silent for a while. And then he's exploding out of the chair. "That _idiot!_ You'd think, with all those brains stuffed into his big head, he'd know not to go making deals with demons!"

"To be fair," Maggie interjects, "Bill lied and said he was a muse."

Stan narrows his eyes. "Yer kiddin' me, right?"

"And flattered him a lot."

"Son of a…"

"Told him he would _change the world!"_

Stan sits back down with a heavy sigh. "Yeah, I'm not surprised that worked. Still… unrestricted?"

Maggie gives him a sympathetic look. "Ford saw Bill as his research partner. Bill gave him a lot of the answers he'd been seeking."

"Why though? What did that demon get out of it?"

"The portal."

Maggie watches the emotions play across Stan's face. Then his sharp eyes connect with hers. "Explain."

"Bill tricked Ford into building the portal because he wants to be able to enter this dimension and cause chaos. The portal itself obviously doesn't lead to Bill's dimension, but the act of using it creates a rift which he can use to get here."

"But… we're gonna use it."

"Exactly."

Stan frowns and scrubs at the scruff on his chin, standing and pacing. Then he turns to look pleadingly at her. "I've gotta use it, Maggie. I can't just leave 'im -"

Maggie stands too and places a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Hey, I know, okay? We're not abandoning Ford. I'm just giving you a heads up."

Stan looks relieved at first, but then his eyes narrow. "I thought you didn't wanna mess with the timeline. Seems like yer messin' with it quite a lot here…"

She chews on his unspoken question for a moment. With a quiet sigh, she admits, "I didn't mean to travel back in time."

"Clearly."

She gives a wry little smile and continues. "There's something I want to avoid happening… something that doesn't _need_ to happen. A last ditch effort that worked, but at a cost. If I can fix things so the first option works…" It's not until the words are out that she realizes the truth of them. Somewhere in the last two weeks, she stopped caring about _just_ getting home. Maybe it was that way from the start. She always cared about these people as characters, but now… now they're _real_. It's crazy and impossible and scary, but… well, here she is anyway. Face to face with Stanley Pines in the basement of the Mystery Shack.

 _And still lying_.

Maggie just barely manages not to cringe at the wave of guilt that passes through her. Why _is_ she still lying anyway? What is she so scared of?

Stan coughs and breaks her out of her thoughts. She realizes she still has her hand on his shoulder and pulls it back quickly.

"Sorry, I kinda spaced out there," she apologizes, taking a step back. _When did we get so close?_

"Oh, uh, yer fine." Stan backs up, too, and they stare at one another for an awkward moment.

"Um, so…" Maggie scrambles to regain her train of thought. What was she talking about before? Oh! "I, uh, told you about Bill because we're gonna have to start dealing with him soon. Gideon is going to make a deal with him. A deal that involves Bill entering your mind while you sleep." Maggie pauses and looks Stan in the eye. "I'd rather he doesn't get that chance."

"You and me both, toots."

 _Toots?_ a voice in the back of her head wonders. _Since when has he called me that?_

Maggie struggles to focus. "Mmm… so, we need to get to Gideon before he makes that deal."

"Agreed."

"Sometime soon, he's going to break into your office. I say we do it then. Take the journal away from him so he can't do the summoning spell."

"Summoning spell?" Stan mutters incredulously under his breath, shaking his head. "Yeah, sure… that's as solid a plan as any."

Maggie nods. "For now, we wait. Maybe we could finally steal Dipper's journal," she suggests.

Stan grins and pulls something out of his robe, holding it up for her to see. It's the third journal! "Way ahead if ya."

"What!" she exclaims. "How did you manage that?! He cuddles with the damn thing when he sleeps!" It's the whole reason they haven't managed to attain it before now.

"I've got a few tricks up my sleeve," he brags, puffing his chest out.

"I bet you do," Maggie replies in a rather suggestive tone, then dies from mortification. _Maybe he didn't hear me?_ But Stan winks playfully at her and she forgets how to breathe.

"Wanna help me copy it?" he asks, saving Maggie from herself.

She grins. "Only if I get to take a photocopy of my arm!"

"Huh?"

"C'mon!"

A short while later, Maggie is bent double with laughter at the look on Stan's face as a copy of her arm drags itself across the floor toward him.


	10. Chapter 10

Notes: I've been excited about this chapter for a while. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it.

* * *

 **Chapter 10  
**

Maggie opens her eyes to a familiar ceiling. She looks to her right, where sunlight spills in through the curtains. _Her_ curtains. In _her_ room. At _home._

She sits bolt upright. _What?! How? Was it just a -_

Every thought comes to a screeching halt and the blood freezes in her veins when she catches sight of what's sitting in the chair in the corner. Or, rather, _who._

 _No, no, no, no, no!_

"Good morning, sleepy head," Bill Cypher greets her in his grating voice, twirling his cane with ease. "Or should I say goodnight? It's not _really_ morning. That's just a trick of the light." He laughs and snaps his fingers. It's suddenly pitch black, except for his eye, which glows an ominous yellow. The elongated pupil is focused right on her and _oh god_ it's so much worse in person. He was always creepy, but being filtered through a kid's cartoon softened it somewhat. Looking at him now, she wonders how Ford ever trusted him.

"Oh, this is all for you, Mags!" he says with a chuckle as he _responds to her thoughts._ "See, you already know what I am. What's the point in hiding?"

 _Shit! How much does he know?! Oh god, stop thinking! Wake up, wake up!_

Between one beat of her pounding heart and the next, Bill is right there in front of her. His eye is three times the size it was before. Maggie stops breathing.

"I know _everything_ ," he tells her in a terrifying whisper.

"No…" she whimpers pathetically.

"Oh yes!" he responds gleefully, shrinking back to his previous size. He saunters around, still twirling that dumb cane. It's lighter in the room now and she can see the way reality bends around his edges. "You really screwed the pooch on this one!"

Maggie is beginning to hyperventilate. _Oh god, what has she_ _ **done**_ _?!_

"You've given me a real advantage, that's what!" He turns to look at her again (she really wishes he wouldn't) and affects a concerned tone. "Aw, come on, Margie! Turn that frown upside down! You should be proud of yourself. You've scored some real points with me. I'll remember that."

He turns away again and walks over to her dresser to examine the framed photos on top.

 _Don't you dare touch those, you bastard!_ she thinks nonsensically. They're not real, after all.

He picks one up; it's of her and Sylvia at the fair. "Aw, the love of a sibling… Not as strong as you might think! I knew someone who had to find that out the hard way." He glances slyly at her. "But you already know that story, don't you?"

He tosses the picture over his shoulder and moves on. Maggie twitches toward the falling frame, but with the way her muscles are locked up… It smashes on the floor.

"I'll be honest with you Margie… Mags? Nah, I like Margie better, don't you?" She doesn't answer. "I'll be honest, Margie. I was a _teeeensy_ bit upset with you at first." Maggie's skin crawls. "But then I thought about it, and I said to myself, 'Bill, this could be what you've been waiting for!' You see, we both want something and I'm not a _total_ monster."

He chuckles and dread rises in her throat, choking her.

"So here's my idea! Are you ready?" He gets close, hands folding over the top of his cane. He doesn't wait for her to respond. "After you and Stanley get ol' Fordsy back and he makes that nice little case for the rift, I want you to steal it for me and smash it."

She goes to protest, but her mouth is gone. _Oh my god! Help! Oh god, please wake up!_

"And in return," Bill continues, "you get to go home! See? Isn't that a great plan?"

Her mouth is back and she tries to suck in a few panicky breaths. Her skin has stopped crawling, but now it's squeezing her to death. Did Bill take away her lungs? Because the whole breathing thing doesn't seem to be working. _Please!_ She doesn't even know who she's pleading with. Herself? God? _Bill?_

"Hey!" Bill snaps his fingers in front of her face and she manages to look at him. "You _do_ want to go home, don't you? That's why you manipulated Stan into letting you into the lab, right? Kudos on that, by the way."

Maggie can feel herself nodding. _Home?_ Yes, she really wants to go home… She's never wanted it more. She wishes _so badly_ this was her actual bed, so she could crawl under the covers and sleep and sleep and not dream. Then she'd wake up and feed her cat ( _oh god, who's feeding Samson?!)_ and go to work. She'd be late and Graham would be upset and the whole day would be wonderfully monotonous. Then she'd come home, get in her sweats, crack open a beer, and give Sylvia a call. When was the last time they'd spoken? It had to have been at least four months. Why did she let it go that long? Now she might never get the chance to tell her sister how much she loves her! She'd never buy that house in the country where she could keep bees. Never see Dennis again. Never cuddle with Samson. Never live in a world that makes sense! _Unless…_

Bill is holding out a hand wreathed in blue flame.

She takes it.

* * *

When she wakes - for real, this time - it's to a dark, musty-smelling room. Moonlight spills in to highlight the glass pyramid still sitting on the end table.

Maggie falls into a panic attack the likes of which she hasn't had since she was in college. She has no idea how long it grips her, but when she comes to, she's curled up in the corner of the room. Her feet are so cold she can't feel them anymore.

After that, she cries for a long time. When the tears run dry, she _thinks._ And thinks some more. And gets _angry._ Absolutely, positively _livid_.

 _How_ _ **dare**_ _he!_

How dare he take advantage of her fear like that! Though she's not the least bit surprised that he would. But for _anyone_ to use her anxiety against her… She's disgusted and _furious_! And not just with _him_ , because as much as she was manipulated, she should still know better than to make a deal with _a demon_!

She knows he doesn't plan on holding up his end of the bargain, at least not in a way where she gets to enjoy it. He probably plans on sending her back all chopped up into pieces, with a pretty bow on top.

 _Well, two can play at that game._

Bill himself complimented Maggie on her skills of manipulation. If he doesn't see this coming, it'll be his own damn fault. No, she may have just majorly screwed up by making a deal with Bill, but she's not going to play by the rules any more than he is.

Maggie has no clue how much Bill actually managed to glean from her thoughts. He could know everything, or he could've been bluffing. Only time would tell on that front. She isn't going to wait and find out, though. Her next steps are perfectly clear.

One: get some unicorn hair.

Two: _protect the Pines family._

* * *

Notes: dun, dun, dunnnnn...


End file.
